I hate My Super Sweet 16

by

When I first came across this programme I was dumbstruck. It’s a bunch of cackling, screeching, dribbling, mentally vacant rat children with Sun-In-treated hair making horrifically extravagant demands and treating their parents, their “workers” and most other people they come across like a big bag of festering dog poo. I know the show is edited to make the kids look as bad as possible, but I still feel genuine hatred towards every single one of them.

The kids on this show are truly awful, horrible, grotesque brats. Worse than sweaty little ASBO kids. They have no respect for anyone. Except maybe Karl Lagerfeld. Each episode centres around a particular person (usually a girl, it seems) who has decided they simply must have a huge Screw You, I’m Bigger Than Jesus-style birthday party to celebrate turning 16. Why 16 is such a big deal I have no clue. I guess Americans need any excuse to turn minor occasions into something ridiculous to make up for their lack of worthwhile local culture.

Every show I’ve seen so far has been based on a Hollywood-residing rat child with a vocabulary that doesn’t reach far beyond “It’s hot”, “I’m hot” or, of course, “We’re hot”. They also all seem incapable of having a discussion without a large amount of yelling, foot stamping and uncontrollable sobbing. The routine each week seems to involve them holding their party at an amazingly exclusive club frequented by megastars like Darius from Popstars, Ashlee Simpson and Joey from Friends; making a strict VIP guest list of around 400 of their closest friends; getting a stupifyingly “awesome” rapper to perform; booking some latino dancers to shake their leathery bums; hiring a chocolate fountain.

In the episode I watched last night, the girl had her party on a ship with 500 of her friends. It was actually only her 15th birthday but, you know, who really cares about sticking to the minor details of a show about 16th birthday parties? Despite this only being a warm-up for the big one-six, no expense was spared. She was flown in by helicopter because a limo wasn’t grand enough (her words, not mine) and she wanted to make a huge entrance and “have everyone looking at me. This is my night, it’s all about me and I want to shine.” What else? Her Dad got her a Pimp My Ride-style Porsche worth $200,000. It came complete with little things like plasma screen TVs, her name embroidered into the seats, pink diamonds encrusted all over the outside and inside of the car and numerous other seriously H Samuel-style chicness. She booked MIMS to play his (only) hit “This is Why I’m Hot”, which he seemed to perform maybe five times in a row before she jumped on stage with him and screeched along for a bit. By this point I’d had my fill of the fun so felt the urge to inflict pain upon myself. The resulting drawing of blood made me feel queasy, so I had to take a nap and sadly missed the finalé.

Every episode is like this. Each girl is a carbon copy of the last one but some get a Porsche, while others get a Lexus, and some get fake boobs, while others get fake tips. As I said earlier, I’m more than aware that the intention of the show is for me to hate them and their rich, giggling, cuntish ways. I am not an idiot. But honestly there has never been something I’ve watched that has so consistently displayed a conveyor belt of revolting human should-be-punchbag trolls. I hate them. I hate their dumb sucky friends and I hate their ridiculous, embarrassing, ignorant, bragging families.

I can’t wait for the next episode, obviously. It’s Stevie’s 16th and her parents only have a measly $500,000 budget for the party. I can’t wait to see how the vapid little cretin and her wrinkly air head mother will cope. I hope you will stay tuned to watch the non-stop drama unfold.

20 Responses to “I hate My Super Sweet 16”

  1. finejuliettefine Says:

    Here here!!!
    One can only hope that those kids will end up A) on drugs and in and out of rehab, B) broke heirs due to their parents financial excess and stupidity, C) sucking a fat one on Hollwood and Vine for their next hit of crack, or D) all of the above. Of course, they could wake up and contribute something positive to society, but the probability of that seems highly unlikely and it would be less fun to watch.
    Lucky for us we will be able to tune in ten years from now to watch the “where are they now” series that MTV is sure to produce.

  2. Tego Says:

    Pharrell Williams just signed the girl from the highest rated ‘My Sweet 16′ show. She only got $315k for her party. Now she’s signed to Star Trak.

  3. yogi Says:

    the whole thing jsut stinks… while just around the corner out of sight is some poor kid who acts normal and whose parents cant afford to pay the utility bills cause their insurance did not cover them when daddy (main income earner) was hit by some 16 year old in a lexus and broke both his legs and then they became infected and amputated.. the Lexus driver was looking at her new nails and on the phone at the time.

    It urks me that this stuff even is made. Great example of great white society failures.

  4. lol Says:

    I don’t know who’s worse, the parents or the kids? I think that the parents should have their money taken away from them and as for the brats, put them in Burma for the rest of their stupid little lives. Then we’ll see how it feels to have nothing, I spoiled brats like this executed and they will be once I gain my full power :-) Watch this space fellow haters of the rich l33t!!!

  5. dontkillcate Says:

    I freakin’ hate this show – well done you.

  6. DualDenz Says:

    you all hate it, yet you all seem to be tuning in to it anyway?
    i guess i’m getting old

  7. sun dogs Says:

    [...] hair making horrifically extravagant demands and treating their parents, their ???workers??? andhttps://hateisastrongword.wordpress.com/2008/03/11/i-hate-my-super-sweet-16/Activists don chains Penn State CollegianDeb Carr of Lancaster wears a collar and chain to protest [...]

  8. Nemo Says:

    I totally friggin agree with this.. i was forced to watch one today, by my sister, as i munched down a feast pizza.. one where this girl was having a toga party.. and she got this call about some “juniors” crashing her party.. i was like YES! STORM THE CITADEL!..
    But unfortunately “police” were there.. still, that didnt stop some amazing fucker pushing the cake over. I roared with laughter.
    I hate the fact that, if she didnt like it.. she would moan, and groan and cry and whimper until she got what was up to her standards.. i fucking hate, i hate the fucking show and i would glad drop a bomb on their houses.

  9. voytek Says:

    I LOVE your essay on this topic. I surely home that much of this is made up thought… I know a lot of snobby, over extravagant girls who fly cross-country to california for their sweet sixteens… but i hope it never get to the point where parents are spending half a million on a one night party…

    MTV probably pays for the party… and they tell the girls to act… so they get a higher rate of viewers and therefore make more money… i hope. right! that’s the way it is… hello?

    Screw Society.

  10. my spuper sweet sixteen sucks Says:

    i agree that teenagers are totally shalow and they only care about money and beauty.i hate that teenagers what are they thinking about to doing that parties and yelling at their parents?its so childish and i think they should change the program’s name my super sweet -1(-1 is their IQ’s)

  11. O Says:

    Well said there mate….
    I cannot stand these bitches either, they cry because the car they got was not the one they wanted… now, if I was the mother, I would slap the bitch across the face and give her a $1,000 car and say “now, you drive this for the next 5 or 6 yrs.”
    Audrey, like most of these girls show the moral side of abortion

  12. lala Says:

    Wow i cant belive that people like you exist. First of all if you hated the show so much yet you “cant wait till the next one”. Do you realize how ridiculous you sound? For someone who hates the show, you sure put a lot of passion, time & energy into watching it. So much so that you write a detailed blog about it. You really are a moron arent you? Crap TV shows were made for people like you. To believe that what you are seeing on TV PERIOD shows me that you are gullible like a little child. It also shows me your intelligence is not too terribly well evolved which is probably why you watch it to begin with. You are very ignorant to lump 400 million people into a bowl due to a reality TV show. I mean who is the real loser here? I bet you never even been to use US let alone know any Americans personally. Our culture may not be interesting to you, i dont expect you to have the brains to appreciate anything, but at least our culture doesnt waste our lives being hateful & spiteful. My advice to you- get a life.

  13. Matt Says:

    It is sad how fu€ked up this generation is

  14. annabel Says:

    What makes me laugh is, when you watch these shows, these kids are so deluded tat they think they’re actually better, and more important than everyone else just because they have more money. these sad little spoilt brats have no talent, and are just like the rest of us. And yet, they’re desperate to verify they’re said little existences by having a big birthday party. I actually feel sorry for them. because, at the end of the day, they’re actually more common than the rest of us!

  15. Renee Biswell Says:

    I have seen the show and it is scary but it is the parents fault and if that is how they choose to spend their money then more power to them! I live a much more fulfilled and productive life and even though I cannot afford to give my children a $200,000 car for their 16th B-Day. I can give them guidance, a work ethic, the value of a dollar and the tool to become productive members of society. You con’t put a price on that.

  16. e papieros Says:

    Very cool website, but you must improve your template graphics.

  17. Lisa Says:

    I hate that show too!
    In today’s show, this girl actually also has an entrance with a helicopter. I will tell you about the part that really got to my nerves. The girl was passing out invitations for the party. There was this mob, when I say mob, I mean HUGE mob, of people wanting an invitation. She was dressed as a santa clause girl, here is what she said:
    “She calls out some of her “friends”, then….
    The soccer team come over here! everyone wearing a hat come here! everyone wearing a sweater some here! and then some people came and asked for their invitation, she refused to give them one…then she said she truly felt like Santa…Well, SANTA DOESN’T CHOOSE WHO TO GIVE GIFTS TO, NOW DOES HE? :p
    I hate that show, god…BRATS!

  18. david Says:

    You should see the UK version – it truly makes you believe in national service!

  19. buckhead.princess Says:

    Smh,poor ugly fat jealous people. I feel so sorry for the unwealthy…especially the teens who have to work,that’s so sad seeing 16-25 year olds work. I just turned 16 and I got a brand new 650i bmw convertible. Hate now bitches.

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