I hate Jacobite shirts

by

Jacobite ShirtUnless you are an extra in a Braveheart-esque epic about Scottish history (that is actually filmed in Ireland because it’s cheaper) you should never have a need – far less, a desire to wear a Jacobite shirt.

Hailing (unsurprisingly) from Jacobian times, these stringy, crinkly, frilly, over the top, wiry chest hair-revealing beauties seem to be most popular at weddings when worn with a kilt and some lovely woolly socks. The Jacobite shirt can also be spotted in more casual surroundings too. In these instances I’ve noticed it’s most commonly teamed with a nice pair of regular fit, stone washed 51 State Dad jeans.

The first time I can remember seeing one of these shirt-shaped horrors was when a local electrician friend of my parents came round to our house one weekend to fix something that was broken and generally causing the household an inconvenience. I answered the door to him and there he stood all red-faced, hairy and Scottish in his pale jeans, mountaineering-style boots and a crinkly linen Jacobite shirt with the stringy bit around the neck worn really loose so you could see all the thick spiderleg hairs he had all creeping out away from his pink wrinkly skin. You could tell by his smug look that he thought he looked amazing, but he actually looked like he had been dressed by Mick Hucknall. If Mick Hucknall were blind and retarded.

Since my first run in I’ve been exposed to these shirts fairly consistently and my feelings have not softened. The key problem areas with these shirts are:

  • The string open collar neck area. Most men who wear these seem to have thick, gross overly hairy chests. Even worse if they are traditionally Scottish with pink skin and a ginger chest rug.
  • The flouncy, unnecessary sleeves – the sleeves are like a linen fancy dress costume worn by Austin Powers. Why would a man choose to wear a big frilly sleeve? It looks really gay, makes your arms look fat and gets in your food – especially if you are having soup.
  • Men who wear them are always rather on the large side, pasty and hairy so nobody wants to see their chests or them dressed in linen.

23 Responses to “I hate Jacobite shirts”

  1. Eoin Stewart Says:

    Hate is a strong word, but I’m afraid not strong enough to state my feelings towards these Brigadoon inspired abominations.

    I first saw them in the ’80s and God help us, I think they are here to stay.

    Solidarity!

    Eoin Og

  2. paul Says:

    I wear a jacobite shirt and my father does as well. We do not have the “spiderleg” chest hairs you talk about. Further, we are not pale and we are on the thin side of the body frame spectrum. Maybe you should not be so judgemental and stereo-typical.

  3. fab-10 Says:

    I also wear one of those, and I look rather damned good in it, even if I say so myself! In fact, about 5 people at the office have told me so this morning!!!
    Why be boring and wear a conventional shirt when millions of people wear them every day and have been doing so for decades (if not centuries)? Life is short, after all! Enjoy! Focus on the things you like, not the things you hate!

  4. Dorm Says:

    I agree with the Saying “Each to their own tastes and opinions” but If you dislike a piece of clothing why moan about it? Just dont wear it!

    I wear a kilt and jacobite shirt most weddings I attend, as does many of my family. Yes a few of us are big built and a few of us are pale but the majority of us are dark skinned, medium build and with little body hair.

    I think your just being a little on the judgemental side here. Also its a prominent dress in scotland at family occasions such as weddings.

  5. Cecilia Says:

    I find it really sexy!
    Why don’t they make those for girls too??
    I bought one for myself and I really like it (even if it’s a bit big).

    If you wear a kilt and a jacobite shirt I will fall in love with you at first sight!

  6. Raw Chocolate Says:

    You must be joking these shirts are great…..

  7. Anonymous Says:

    f u

  8. paul Says:

    You like what you like, you don’t what you don’t. To each his own. I could get judgemental about wearing those chin whiskers like many others following the trend. What message are you trying to send with that? Either grow a full beard or shave. But, we’re all free do make our own decisions.

  9. colin Says:

    what absoulte crap,you can wear a jacobite shirt at any time as an alternative to the grandad or colorless shirt ,the black ones are often worn by people into gothic clothing..hate seems to be everywhere on the internet!

  10. Anonymous Says:

    they arent jacobite shirts anyway they are gillie shirts as worn by the lower classes in the 18th cent the modern kiltshops sold them as Jacobite shirts in the 90’s and the name stuck.

    there is no such shirt as a jacobite shirt as most folks couldn’t afford a shirt and the Jacobite gentry would have wore a more lavish style of shirt.

    they’re still braw though and i’ll agree wit the comments before me that yer talking crap.

  11. Lew Says:

    You are an absolute moron. Not all of us fit your asinine stereotype of people who wear Jacobite shirts.

  12. Jo Says:

    HA HA!! I just have to respond, because I had typed into Google ‘I hate Jacobean shirts’ and your’s was the first post. I don’t hate them for all the same reasons you do, I hate them because they are ugly as hell and it seems to have been adopted by the Chav culture in Scotland. I think it’s hilarious that people are giving you stick for this saying that if you don’t like something you shouldn’t complain about…………..erm hello pot it’s me kettle!!! If you don’t like this blog post, then don’t complain………………duh!!!!

  13. best tweezers Says:

    best tweezers…

    […]I hate Jacobite shirts « HATE IS A STRONG WORD[…]…

  14. Emily Says:

    No lie, I find Jacobite shirts really sexy. Instant pants access for those dudes. I did grow up in Scotland though.

  15. Robert Says:

    I absolutely LOVE wearing Jacobite/Ghillie shirts…and I am thin and don’t have a lot of hair on my chest! They are part of Scottish culture therefore I feel really proud and close to my ancestors when I wear one with my kilt.

  16. Anonymous Says:

    I love jacobite shirts

  17. Anonymous Says:

    I do wear i “Jacobite” shirt at medieval events and so on. Me being a reanactor and i love the shirt type even if is not as Scottish as many people think. The shirt type and shirts like it was used by most classes in many parts of europe for many years. Most predominantly in the 1500 – 1700 era.
    But i have to agree that wearing it with a pair of washed out jeans is kind of ugly( and washed out jeans in general). But when worn with kilts and pants that fit them or any historical clothing they generally look very good.
    I am heavily buildt, dark and do not have very much chest hair.
    and in the other peoples critique of your prejudices and steriotypes about wearers of the “Ghille” shirt being wrong.

    Amature historian and student.

    • Anonymous Says:

      Corrections to the above comment.
      I agree in the other peoples critique*
      I do wear a ” jacobite” shirt.Not I Jacobite shirt.**
      Sorry for being a grammer nazi.
      And built***

  18. Ron Says:

    I love Jacobite shirts,I live in Jacobite shirts, as far as
    seeing a guys hairy chest in one to me the more chest hair the better
    what’s wrong with men looking like men.
    and yes I do have a hairy chest

  19. http://rosmana.blogspot.com/ Says:

    Green Coffee Bean Extract are sold by a number of potential injuries.

  20. farm animal birthday Party Says:

    We’re a group of volunteers and opening a new scheme in our community. Your site provided us with valuable information to work on. You’ve done an impressive job
    and our entire community will be thankful to you.

  21. pacsun coupons Says:

    I prefer the helpful tips people give to your articles or blog posts. I most certainly will take note of ones website plus check once more below on a regular basis. Now i am relatively i will likely be told plenty of innovative material correct in this article! All the best . for the next!

  22. Demarcus Elden Says:

    telecharger minecraft

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: