I hate Avril Lavigne for the following reasons: she makes music that sounds like a sewer rat being strangled by an alley cat behind a Blink 182 gig, she has one of the world’s most punchable faces, she has pink streaks in her hair (which could never look good on anyone, nevermind her), she wears ties with T-shirts and she replaces letters with numbers (“Sk8er Boi”).
So, there we have it. These are enough reasons for me and anyone with an ounce of sense to hate her. Yes? Case closed. Not so quickly…
I would just like to add these quotes from Avril in case you found yourself running to the little greaseball pussface’s defense:
- “It’s important to be thankful even if you’re poor. I mean, come on, we all have clean water – well ok, not the people in the developing world but you know what I mean.”
- “I am a very giving person. When the hurricane thing happened (New Orleans, Aug 2005) I went to my closet, filled 6 boxes of stuff and said to my assistant, “Here. Take it to Katrina.”
- “I also like to give stuff to people who are my ‘workers’, especially if they don’t make much money.”
- “When I go to the party I am the party. I’m the girl doing shots, jumping on tables, screaming and getting wasted. When I say get wasted I don’t mean go crazy. Everything in moderation.”
- “Selling 24 million records hasn’t really affected me, but it has changed certain things. I can’t walk into a room without everybody staring, I can only eat in certain restaurants where I know I won’t get hassled but it’s ok. I was born to do this.”